My Super Woman Cape is at the Cleaners

 

At least that’s where I think I left it.....

 

Actually, it feels really good not to have it around.  I am starting to feel like I don’t have to accomplish it all and I will be okay with that. 

 

How did I acquire a Super Woman cape to begin with, you ask?  Well, let me see if I can remember.  I think it started some twenty years ago when I met my former spouse.  I wanted to be everything to him.  I wanted him to love me and to think that I was the best thing that had ever come his way.  I wanted him to brag to his friends about this wonderful woman he had met and how she tackled every task that was thrown her way.

 

It all started innocently enough.  I was just a young woman wanting to make her man happy.  I never had a problem helping out with things when asked.  I was eager and willing to lend a hand where ever I could.

 

“Got a minute, I need a hand with this”. 

“No problem, be right there”.

Smile

 

All’s going well......at least in my mind.  I am the dutiful little wife and my husband adores me.  He is so grateful to have me around!  At least in my mind....

 

Now we throw a couple of kids into the mix.  I can handle this....no problem. 

 

“Mom, I need a ride!”

“Don’t forget soccer tonight, Mom”. 

“Honey, when you get back, can you give me a hand with this?” 

“Sure can, but I need to pick up groceries first.”

Smile

 

Every day was like this and I was loving it!  I had a nice little family and we all loved each other and respected each other and things were great!  At least in my mind....

 

In fact, I felt like I was on top of the world and I could accomplish anything!  So, what’s a woman with all this power supposed to do?  That’s right.....take on a full time job as well!  I knew that working outside of the house would help our financial situation and it would also be good for me to communicate with other people my own age.  Besides, we were a team here and we would help each other out with the household responsibilities.  Surely my kids were old enough to have chores and I knew my husband wouldn’t have a problem with lending a hand, IF I needed it!

 

Smile

 

Then one day it happened.  Things didn’t seem so great anymore.  In fact, things seemed like they were nothing but one big burden.  I couldn’t remember the last time I felt great.  I couldn’t remember the last time I felt happy.  All I could remember was the last time I asked someone for help and everyone seemed too busy or too self-absorbed to care.  The only thing I could feel now was resentment.  It was not a feeling I was comfortable with at all and I didn’t know what to do with it or even how to handle it.  I handled it the best way I knew how.  I snapped at everyone who I felt had made me get this way.  I soon discovered that I was in a very unhappy situation and I had lost myself in all the flurry of trying to please everyone else.  I turned the resentment into anger and that is all I felt.  I was angry at everyone!  I was angry at everything!  

 

So what’s a girl to do with all that anger.  That’s an easy one!  Let’s blame everyone for this anger that I felt!  I mean, certainly it wasn’t my fault that I felt this way.  It was everyone else who had MADE me feel this way.  It was the kids, for not getting their chores done when I asked them to.  It was my husband, for not getting off the couch to help me with the dishes.  It was my neighbour, who let their dog do his business on my front lawn.  It was my boss, who couldn’t understand why I was late for work on Monday.  Everyone I came into contact with gave me a REASON to be in a foul mood.  If they would just do things my way or when I asked them to, things would be fine!  At least in my mind….

 

Before I knew it, I was in a situation that I felt needed to be brought to attention immediately or I wasn’t going to last.  I no longer felt like I could accomplish anything.  I no longer felt like I could take on the world and more.  All I felt was lost and angry and betrayed by those around me.  They weren’t living up to their end of the bargain.  I was doing all of my stuff and theirs too.  I no longer felt like I had team players surrounding me.  I felt like a one-man team.....all alone and losing the game.  It was then that I realized that I was burnt out. 

 

It was then that I realized that my Super Woman Cape was no longer functioning the way it had in the past.  It had somehow lost all of its super-power capabilities.  What a devastating feeling that was!  I no longer felt like I was able to tackle all of the things that life throws at you on any given day.  I was no longer able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.  I was no longer bullet-proof.

 

Today, I am so grateful that I was able to have an awakening that allowed me to see my situation for what it was.  I give thanks for having the grace and enough strength to pull myself up out of the rubble and brush myself off.  I have started a new way of living, one that honours me as well as those I come into contact with.  I have learned to deal with the anger that was eating away at me.  I have learned that in order to become a “super” woman, I have to ask others for help when I need it.  I have learned that in order to become a “super” woman, I need to communicate to others how I feel and what I am thinking.  I have learned that I can only make one person happy and that is myself!  I realize now that just because I THOUGHT I had the ability to read other people’s minds, they didn’t necessarily have the ability to read mine.

 

Smile

 

So yes, I have sent my Super Woman Cape to the cleaners.  No, not so that I can don it once again when it gets back.  I am having it cleaned so that I can pack it away with all of the memories of the past and the lessons that I have learned from the mistakes that I had made.  I realized now that it no longer fits me anyway.

 

Smile

 

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