My
At least that’s where I think I left it.....
Actually, it feels really good not to have it around. I am starting to feel like I don’t have to
accomplish it all and I will be okay with that.
How did I acquire a Super Woman cape to begin with, you ask? Well, let me see if I can remember. I think it started some twenty years ago when
I met my former spouse. I wanted to be
everything to him. I wanted him to love
me and to think that I was the best thing that had ever come his way. I wanted him to brag to his friends about
this wonderful woman he had met and how she tackled every task that was thrown
her way.
It all started innocently enough.
I was just a young woman wanting to make her man happy. I never had a problem helping out with things
when asked. I was eager and willing to
lend a hand where ever I could.
“Got a minute, I need a hand with this”.
“No problem, be right there”.
Smile
All’s going well......at least in my mind. I am the dutiful little wife and my husband
adores me. He is so grateful to have me
around! At least in my mind....
Now we throw a couple of kids into the mix. I can handle this....no problem.
“Mom, I need a ride!”
“Don’t forget soccer tonight, Mom”.
“Honey, when you get back, can you give me a hand with
this?”
“Sure can, but I need to pick up groceries first.”
Smile
Every day was like this and I was loving
it! I had a nice little family and we
all loved each other and respected each other and things were great! At least in my mind....
In fact, I felt like I was on top of the world and I could accomplish
anything! So, what’s a woman with all
this power supposed to do? That’s
right.....take on a full time job as well!
I knew that working outside of the house would help our financial
situation and it would also be good for me to communicate with other people my
own age. Besides, we were a team here
and we would help each other out with the household responsibilities. Surely my kids were old enough to have chores
and I knew my husband wouldn’t have a problem with lending a hand, IF I needed
it!
Smile
Then one day it happened. Things
didn’t seem so great anymore. In fact,
things seemed like they were nothing but one big burden. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt
great. I couldn’t remember the last time
I felt happy. All I could remember was
the last time I asked someone for help and everyone seemed too busy or too
self-absorbed to care. The only thing I
could feel now was resentment. It was not
a feeling I was comfortable with at all and I didn’t know what to do with it or
even how to handle it. I handled it the
best way I knew how. I snapped at
everyone who I felt had made me get this way.
I soon discovered that I was in a very unhappy situation and I had lost
myself in all the flurry of trying to please everyone else. I turned the resentment into anger and that
is all I felt. I was angry at
everyone! I was angry at everything!
So what’s a girl to do with all that anger. That’s an easy one! Let’s blame everyone for this anger that I
felt! I mean, certainly it wasn’t my
fault that I felt this way. It was
everyone else who had MADE me feel this way.
It was the kids, for not getting their chores done when I asked them to. It was my husband, for not getting off the
couch to help me with the dishes. It was
my neighbour, who let their dog do his business on my front lawn. It was my boss, who couldn’t understand why I
was late for work on Monday. Everyone I
came into contact with gave me a REASON to be in a foul mood. If they would just do things my way or when I
asked them to, things would be fine! At
least in my mind….
Before I knew it, I was in a situation that I felt needed to be brought
to attention immediately or I wasn’t going to last. I no longer felt like I could accomplish
anything. I no longer felt like I could
take on the world and more. All I felt
was lost and angry and betrayed by those around me. They weren’t living up to their end of the
bargain. I was doing all of my stuff and
theirs too. I no longer felt like I had
team players surrounding me. I felt like
a one-man team.....all alone and losing the game. It was then that I realized that I was burnt
out.
It was then that I realized that my
Today, I am so grateful that I was able to have an awakening that
allowed me to see my situation for what it was.
I give thanks for having the grace and enough strength to pull myself up
out of the rubble and brush myself off. I
have started a new way of living, one that honours me as well as those I come
into contact with. I have learned to
deal with the anger that was eating away at me.
I have learned that in order to become a “super” woman, I have to ask
others for help when I need it. I have
learned that in order to become a “super” woman, I need to communicate to
others how I feel and what I am thinking.
I have learned that I can only make one person happy and that is myself! I realize now
that just because I THOUGHT I had the ability to read other people’s minds,
they didn’t necessarily have the ability to read mine.
Smile
So yes, I have sent my
Smile