(Pictures link at bottom of page)

Laura’s con report: which will not interest anyone wanting to know about the con… this is a totally personal account of the great time I had meeting some fantastic people. And here ya go…

I was hoping it wasn’t a sign of things to come when we got to the airport only to find that our flight, numbered with a "666", had been canceled. Not to worry, they get us on another flight. Um… except as we’re taxiing for take-off an incoming plane spots fuel leaking from our wing. Delay. Okay, nothing to worry about, let’s try taking off again. Oops… still leaking fuel from the wing. Another delay. Ah, what the heck, let’s go for it anyway. We did and arrived alive and well.

Shared a shuttle with some con folk on the way to the hotel. Already, remembering the cool feeling of being among people with similar fancies… for once, not being the freak or outcast… how unnerving, to belong.

I won’t detail all the parties, the panels, the readings… Heck, I didn’t even take manuscripts with me ‘cause I just wanted to go and relax for once. Don’t want to have to remember names, rub elbows, schmooze, or try to act interested. Here’s everything in a nutshell:

It was a happy four days for me because I met some old friends, ones you only see at cons. I met some new friends, ones I’d only talked to online. And I met some people I stand in awe of and would never, otherwise, have even known who they were had not they been pointed out to me by some other equally enthusiastic fan.

I have nothing to sell (yeah, I’ve still not written a novel… big deal), so just hooking up with friends was my goal. I spent the first evening watching everything with only one eye, the other eye keeping a look out for our incoming roommate, one 6’ 6" guy who weighs probably less than I. Shouldn’t be too hard to spot. And finally, after years of online, telephone, and mail contact… TADA! The grossest guy I ever expect to meet… Ryan "Megarod" Harding.

But let me back up a second. I was going to have a nap Thursday afternoon in the hotel room. After all, nothing happens at the con the first day, right? Couldn’t sleep so we (Mike B. and I) wander downstairs to check out the WHC registration area. A line already. Oh no! I’m assailed. At least half a dozen people say, "Laura Elvin!" and I’m overwhelmed with people who recognize me and I’ve not a clue who they are and suddenly it’s, "I’m Gina!" and "I’m Mike Oliveri" and "I’m Mikey" and… oh dear God, it’s Feo. I don’t even have to move. He takes the stairs three at a time and does the obligatory "pick up the frightened little girl and swing her around… yeah, that’ll make her feel at ease". I begin to talk mostly with Gina, a little reluctantly since I owe her some books and I feel guilty for never getting my act together and sending them, and what were they.. Tanith Lee? No, Edward Lee? No, both Lee’s… and what else? Oh crap! But she’s so sweet and so freakin’ nice about it and I’m staring at this gorgeous woman and she says, "Hey, someone thought I look like you." And I’m thinking, "Oh you poor thing. Don’t listen to a word they say." But inside I’m feeling great because someone compared me with this siren. Feeling great until Feo comments that I remind him of Roseanne. Roseanne! I just found the low point of my con. Argh!

Throughout the con, as I get to know these people who I met mostly in HorrorNet, I’m seeing that I’m gonna have a whole new batch of friends. I’m a visual person, so actually seeing these guys in the flesh and blood makes a huge impression on me, as opposed to… um which Mike where you again? Are you the editor? Are you Mikey? Are you the one with the wicked sense of humor? Turns out, most of ‘em are. Man, what a blast, all four days.

Aside from meeting Ryan (that was a major goal of the con after I flaked and didn’t show up in Atlanta), the high points were meeting the following great people with whom I’m now thoroughly impressed (not in order, folks): Gina, Julie, Mikey Huyck (sorry, I haven’t a clue how you spell it), Mike Oliveri, James Futch, and Brian Keene (although I’m probably forgetting a few). The reason I set those folk aside is because I had no expectations of meeting them, hanging with them, and totally enjoying myself. I adore them, though, one and all.

Although I didn’t get to spend much time with them, it was in immense pleasure meeting Westin and Jack Harringa.

Then there were those who I expected to meet. Those who I only had to see in 3-D because otherwise they’re exactly the same as they are online… no surprises what-so-ever. Feo who? LOL Good lord, what an overwhelming man. And you’ll notice, when someone posts their con pics, he’s like in every other freakin’ picture. This is not a coincidence. The man is a party guy. I don’t need to go on about Feo. Those who know him, know what I mean… anyone who doesn’t know him, won’t have a clue what I’m saying.

Then there are the great people I’ve already met at other cons. There are a handful of people who are very special to me for various reasons and I’m very grateful to get to see them at least once a year or there abouts: John Pelan and his wonderful wife Kathy, who took me under their wing at my very first WHC where I was totally alone and knew no one and nothing, Tom Piccirilli and Michelle, who also let me "tag along" with them at my first con and made me feel welcome to the horror industry; Geoff Cooper, who I never really get to know that well because the man can’t hold still for all of five minutes, but he’s a very cool guy and for many reasons I admire him; Patrick and Honna Swenson, who never chastise me for my flakiness although if anyone has a right to they do, and they’re wonderful people, and I’m honored to even know them; Vince Harper, who I’m very fond of although I don’t think he should be made aware of this fact, and quit slagging on the Penguins!… I gotta live with this guy!; Mark McLaughlin… what can I say… he’s a character and a half, eh?; Jeremy, Liza, and Alan, the Borderlands and Freak Press folk who are just fantastically nice and wonderful and I’m glad we only live a strip of water apart, so we get to visit more than once every con; Matt Johnson, always a pleasure, even though you don’t talk much <g>; Brian Hodge, who I’m sure doesn’t know me from a hole in the ground unless it’s as the chick who says whacked things like "Who’s Tom Waits?" and "Thanks for writing such cool stuff," to which Mr. Hodge replied, "Thanks for being literate." Yikes! I can be such a dork. Okay, I admit… I get tongue-tied in the midst of someone I’ve admired for years. And since Mr. Hodge is someone I greatly admire, he gets some of the worst of it.

The parties were grand! Other than people I’ve already met (and not even always on those occasions), I don’t know what anyone looks like… I don’t recognize anyone, so I’m continually saying, "Oh point so-and-so out to me". The high points of meeting new people? Craig Spector, all the way. Man, is he cool! And Sandra Kasturi, who is one of the most gracious and witty women I’ve ever met. I briefly got to talk with Sephera, another gracious and funny woman. I met Brett Savory (oh, congrats to you and Sandra, btw!), but only exchanged one quick nag (he nagged me… rightfully so, I’ll admit) then I merely noticed him at various parties throughout the weekend. Kelly Laymon, who seems on the outside like a very unassuming person, but who turns out (once you get a chance to talk with her) to be a totally cool and not a shy individual at all. Actually, all the Laymon’s are a fun bunch! One quiet man I found to be very nice was Owen "I bet you’ve never seen it spelled like this" from Ireland… and he’s right; his name started with an "e" and contained a "g" and I’ve forgotten what else was there. It was great finally meeting the DarkTales people. Man, do they put out a good-looking book pronto! I wish I had a novel under my belt just so I could submit it to them <g>. And since I think of Adam Niswander in the same breath, it was fabulous meeting him too! I’m glad I finally (after all our email exchanges) got to meet Brian Hopkins and dude… congrats again! And it was fun seeing Harlan Ellison in action. There are enough stories about the man, we don’t need mine as well… suffice to say, it’s worth seeing him at least once in your life, just so’s you know the rumors are true. Okay, I’ll also mention what an extreme pleasure it was meeting Simon Clark who I made a fool of myself in front of even though he doesn’t know the half of it. You see, Simon Wady was the British editor I was trying to think of who published a great Simon Clark story that I loved and was trying to describe to Mr. Clark because I’m terrible with titles, but he just couldn’t get it from what I was saying. Well, der… turns out I was describing a Mark Chadbourn story. Sorry, Simon. I really do like your writing. I’ll send an email with an appropriate apology and some even more appropriate mention of YOUR actual work.

Then it’s fun to see people at a couple of the parties and panels, night after night, and then on the last day have someone tell you, "Oh that’s Seth Lindburgh," or "That’s RC Matheson," or "That’s Harlan Ellison". Names I know, but never put to any faces. It’s good to finally see what people look like.

Things I’ll remember the most? I liked the altar Geoff.. um… created, and the crowning Feo Amante business card that got placed inside the pentacle… the same Feo Amante business card you could find at every nook and cranny of the hotel. And speaking of Feo, it was pretty cool to see the dude at the gross out contest, snort up a live and large worm through his nose and hack it out his mouth, hold it up so we could all see it was still alive and well, only to then devour it onstage in from of us. I admit I was looking forward to the gross out, which turned into a debacle in my opinion. I’m not sure how a five-minute allowance for readings allowed for some of the self-indulgence displayed. I do know the difference between a 45 minute reading and a 5 minute one, and so did many of the audience members who left the proceedings midway through the event. And btw, Marge… It was I, Laura Elvin (who put up your art on my artists’ gallery at no charge to you and great effort to me) to whom you made a snippy comment as I left the poetry reading after 58 of its 60 minutes so I could get a good seat at the one event I’d been waiting the whole con for (the gross out). I’m sorry if my leaving in the final 2 minutes of the poetry readings offended your sensibilities. But since you came into the session at the halfway point, maybe you didn’t realize I’d been sitting there since the actual start of the readings.

But nothing took away from the great time I had. I’m definitely going to stay in contact with my new buddies, Gina and Julie. Although I would like to know why Julie giggles to herself when she’s in a bathroom alone… ahem.

I feel really good about talking to the varying Mike’s in chat now that I know one from the next and know just how truly cool they really are. Same for Brian K, et al.

Thanks, btw, for those who came to my reading (and thanks, Gina, for letting me know I was even doing a reading <g>!… I’m glad the office found my story and was able to fax it over to the hotel). I’d like to eventually find out who the lovely Italian couple were who smiled so sweetly at me after my reading… good lord, I hope they spoke English and were actually approving of my story.

So that’s it, other than to mention our flight home wasn’t much better than our flight coming in. We had a several hour delay and when we finally got to taxiing and ready to take off, once again the plane stops. What is it this time? A man with a heart attack. His heart actually stopped? Yikes! After they get him off the plane, we do go on without further incident… bugs me we’ll never know what happened to him. Hope he’s okay.

Thanks to everyone for the great time. Can’t wait to party with you all again.

P.S. If I’ve forgotten anyone, please forgive me… I’ll amend this thing as these oversights are pointed out to me.

Link to photos from the con

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